Just a thought

...Oh, I envy not the mountains, nor winds, nor rivers or springs,
I have not the grace of eagles or the speed of winds
The magic of flowers is alien to me, as is the wisdom of the hills,
Like stars, I can't twinkle to light up my path at night
I have not the strength of love, no purpose in sight
I have but a wish, a desire deep within
Dear Lord, if I can't sigh, teach me how to cry
And, like a bird if I can't fly, at least teach me to sing…

The Good Dog

05/02/2008

If I had four legs, I would be called a dog, I act and behave like one
But I have two legs and a heart, Unlike the four legged creature
I wait on my master just the same.
And instead of a bone
I wait for a kind word,
Am happy when he says it
And hurt when he lashes out,
Yet, like the good old dog,
I maintain my degree of faithfulness
I come back, the kick forgotten, anxious for a look of approval
I lick his feet, as good dogs do, I whoof in a manner of smile
Am wary of his swinging moods, but dogs have no say, do they?
They never go away, their faith in their master unshaken
Perhaps, they think quietly, someday…
There would be a pat, a hug, along with the bone


Remember, the dog loves his master, unconditionally. Its not the dogs fault that the master is sometimes cruel.

Remember

07/02/2008

How do I remember anything
That I cannot forget?
That the ripples in my coffee
Is made not from stirring sugar
But is a salty drop called a tear
That the cold, wet feet, is not
From a day in the rain
But an unchecked stream
which flows from eyes
that no more see the world
How do I forget then
What I don’t remember
The pain that stings and maims
And handicaps every second
That’s why I come back, again and again
How can I ignore
What I don’t see
The sky is always above me
Rains come, the sun shines
And even in darkness, winds blow
How do I tell my heart
That no more beats
That love is not enough
That is why, away he goes
To another source
While I shudder and sigh
Maybe even quietly cry
So no more blood flow
All I want to know,
Who betrayed me

or you...

29/04/2007

I wish I could write another book For You and tell you all over again how much I love you.

But you have reached high above,
Even your shadows dont reach me.
I look for you among the stars,
I realise, how far you have gone from me.
I wonder, if I will ever reach you
As you move further away
I wait here, unmoved, seeing you glow bright
And wondering if I would ever, share your piece of sky
See my tears and not my smiles
Just once realise
that what you see as my strength
is actually my fear, wrapped in smiles
I wish you would return
To hold me in your arms, just once
So that I could show you
What I feel about you
Lie at your feet, love you forever
Till my breath leaves me...

The music played on...

06/06/2007

In the pale moonlight
By the sea
I saw the sands
Lie very still
Frozen in their wake
The waves rose not
As I struggled
Between laughter and pain
Somewhere far away
The music played on...

The world swayed
But nothing moved
In the distance
Silver stars mourned
Someone’s lipsIn prayers moved
As I struggled
Between defeat and gain
Somewhere far away
The music played on...

It must have been
A parent’s wish, a brother’s plea
A friend’s touch or strangers’ pledge
Or it must have been you
Something, someone wished
Had at last come true
For as I struggled
Between life and death
Somewhere far away
The music played on...

With you...always

(25-09-07)

If, far away I go
Into a world unknown
While you are still here
Remember, somewhere
I will live on...
Though you may not see
Nor hear me
I will always be
Where I can see you
Though a veil, touch you
I will feel your pain
More than you do...
When you whisper
I will hold you close
And listen to you
Breath means nothing
Though it parts you from me
In spirit I will always be
Around to love you
At nights if you are lonely
I will pray for you
And wish someone would
Come to love you
As in your need I would...
If, am gone and leave you here
Let your imaginations
Fill in all the blanks
Of what could have been
Till time intervened
From life, I have no desire
It gave me you
Even in death, I smile
Wishing someday, somewhere
We would be together again
But, my love, if I could stay
I would, I swear

Your name

(29-09-07)

I love you,
Yet, you will never hear me
Call your name again
You are no more a mystery,
What I seek, I will find
You are my destiny
And yet, towards you
No step will I take
Never will I see you
When I cry, nor touch you
As I hold you close
If you must see me
Or feel me around you
It will be in time
When I am far from you
At once then, you will know
Where, for me to look
In my nights there will be
No dreams of you
Nor my mornings will light up
With thoughts of you
If my dreams you must share
With your eyes you must see
What I have dreamed of you
In my sighs, your name
Will never rise
For, with time, your name
Is the very air I breathe
In my breath hence,
You must find life of your own...
My heart will never overflow
With love for you
You are precious
And I will save every drop of you
But if love you must know
With your heart you must find
Like in you, I found my own.

Someday...

Someday, somewhere, you will overcome what your heart and mind fears... You will then accept what you see, what your heart says. You will break the shackles that bind you to your past and want to fly again.

Someday your mind will tell you that laughter is what you want and your eyes will guide to that one person with whom you enjoy sharing a smile...you will look forward to that moment when once again wait to hear a voice you love to hear...

Someday, you will reach out and touch the person beside you and will know that is your future...someday your memories will stop tormenting you and you will think back and tell yourself you are glad you went through it because it helped you see the difference, it will instill your faith in humankind and you will realise that someone, somewhere is only yours, was and will always be. You will be sure of the person as you are sure of yourself...

Someday, when you want to cry, you will know there is only person in the world who will cry with you...

Then, just remember my love, just as you would want that 'someone',.... that 'someone' has always wanted you, has always felt this way about you

The Knife

(09-12-2007)

A long lonely journey, covered in but a flash,
a leap of faith, a surge of hope, it was,
a brush with death, then slowly, gently, a kiss of life…

Dreamlike days hence, but then a cloud comes by ... its not hope, a cloud devoid of rain, a mass of fear, and once again, after life danced a few minutes, death came calling again...

A gleaming knife, a veiled threat, fear for life…his life, that hung from the knife tip,
an unspoken command,a blank refusal, life hung in balance…against my own,
I would have laid down my life,
in the same instant he made a move to remove his own…
a moment that could have passed without fear or anger,
but a moment that lay in between us,
overwrought with guilt and hatred and anger not our own,
not his, not mine but a shadow from his past,
I, the innocent victim, froze in fear for a life,
that was far precious than my own.

When you touch me...

On dry earth, when raindrops fall,
And fade away with a delighted sigh,
In that short moment,
The earth becomes a bride,
And raindrops, her beloved,
Touched by the burning drops she slowly melts,
The smell of love fills the air,
In its scent they rejoice,
The earth and the rain…


When you touch me,
Passion overrides sanity
And desire softly sighs
The world explodes
Into million seconds of ecstasy
In a flash, time dissolves
Thoughts surge
Like the churning sea
The mind, a silent outsider
Is no more an enemy
You are not ‘the other’
You become me
When you make love to me
I see a whole new world
Where souls meet
And soulful symphonies play
To the rhythm of our bodies
Held in timeless bonding
In your fulfillment
Is my bliss…

A complete name

A name within a name,
Where alphabets follow one another
Through this journey called life
Have you ever realized?
In your name is my own
And in mine is yours?
The first letter in yours
Follows the first of mine
And second of mine
Does not leave
The very first of yours…
Imagine then,
What would be
If one of them was taken away
A name there wouldn’t be,
Only an incomplete word
That meant nothing
Put the two letters of your name
Along with two letters of mine
See, what you find?
Another complete name!

Random thoughts

It merely crawls, this thing you call time
Crawls like a worm determined to die
It not only crawls, but carries on its mind
Gloom and misery, never lets go
There is something about time
That is so purposeful
A reflection of something gone wrong
For you can never tell
Just where it will go
But go, it will
Somewhere, perhaps
Not where you want it to
But it is worse when it crawls
For the mind
Never slows down
For time to catch up
It is that gap so hard to fill
So hard, a reason to find
To hurry it along…

What good is the world?

What good are toys
That never broke in the hands of a child?
That has never been trampled
Never been thrown aside?

What good is the wind
That never unleashed a storm
That never snapped a bloom
Nor caressed a tear dry

What good is the sea
That has never left a throat dry
Never changed colors
Nor changed faces with the tide?

What good are the eyes
That has never let flow a tear
Never hidden a grain of hope
Nor ever mirrored a burning desire

What good is a heart
That never held an ocean of love?
Nor ever nursed fear
Nor ever heard a cry?

What good is love
That never reached another heart?
Nor nursed passion nor life
That simply curled up and died?

What good are the tears
That never moved a heart
That never brought relief
Nor killed me in despair?

The Book

For You, my first published book of poems!

Betrayal

I kiss betrayal
As life leaves me
Awaits me, is death
Her welcome sweet
A bubble of deceit
It was, that burst
After four and twenty years
Leaving me hungering
For nothing
Stars weep with the breeze
Shyly touching my cheek
But I know
They betrayed me

No more anything

Never really looked for a place to call home,
Never really cared to make up
for moments gone,
Loved the winds in far away lands,
Loved the anonymity of curious sands
Never wailed for moments that came
or went away too soon
Never looked for anything
in the pale yellow moon
When I found you
I swapped laughter for tears,
Gave up freedom for bondage
In my heart I nurtured hope,
Filled my mind
with unnecessary dreams
Then one day, you left, vanished
I looked up to see emptiness
The space that you filled was gone,
Gone along with the laughter and rain
The sea I so loved became my grave
There is nothing much left of me
I occupy a place people call life
Ha, how could I be anything?
If not you, then who for me?

A tear

A moment that should not have happened
A truth that should not have been told
A second that should have moved on
Without the bitterness of love long lost
The moment I saw her, I knew it all
A little of me just died,
A little of my heart
A little of my soul
But the whole of my love
The whole of my goal
My future withered
My past disappeared
My present tainted with tears
The remains of a familiar tale
The footprints no longer seem real
Your name on my lips quiver
The pain in my eyes but familiar
Written on my soul a name
I am scared to utter
A belief I no longer need
Yet am not done
Because, I cannot move away
You remain where you are
I was left far behind